The Hollenbeck's: Tears, tears, and tears...

I know I haven't posted in a while... hopefully you can understand it's because I have been savoring every second with Malea. Holding her every chance I can... making her smile and giggle... cuddling her and her oh-so-soft baby skin... all the while with the thought of that 4 letter word creeping into my head... you know, that one that starts with a w, ends with a k, and has "or" in the middle... yeah, that one: ( Don't get me wrong - I like my job and the people I work with - I'm just not ready, not even near ready for that step. It means leaving my daughter... the precious little peanut I have spent just about every waking moment with since the day she was born 11 and 1/2 weeks ago. I don't want to leave her... I don't want to go from being with her 24-7 to having to leave her for 9 and 1/2 hours every day. For all of you that told me "oh you'll definitely be itching to go back to work after 12 weeks," well sorry to say, you were all wrong. There isn't even a small part of me that is ready to leave my daughter for 9 and 1/2 hours at a time. I'd be lying if I said I was ready for that. So if you're a little slow today; ) and haven't figured out the first reason for "tears" this week, there you have it.... every time I think about leaving Malea to go back to work I cry... ok, you're right... I bawl. Trying to type through the tears is blurry:,(
As hard as it will be for me to have to leave her, one thing that will make it easier is knowing she is in the best care possible... the loving arms of her Grammy Volz... which leads me to the next set of "tears" for the week. Friday was my mom's last day working at the bank. It was a day of tears for Mom. She made the comment "I'm looking forward to retirement, but I wish I could just skip Friday because it's so hard to say good-bye." Boy is she right. I've never been good with good-byes. Jodi and I took the kids into the bank on Mom's last day to visit (with an ulterior motive of having cake; ), and I was reminded of the wonderful woman that my mom is. In the short time that we were there, it was so clear to me how much joy Mom brings to people every day at her job.
People stopped in to congratulate mom and wish her well, and every single person that I saw expressed how greatly they were going to miss seeing her in the bank every week. People even called for her while we were there, and Mom hung up in tears each time because she was going to miss interacting with those people all the time. I hope that I am able to bring as much joy to people's lives as my mom, Lori, does. It was a sad day for Mom leaving behind such a big part of her life over the past 16 years, but we know she is going to love (and is looking forward to) retirement! I mean how couldn't you getting to spend every day with Malea; ) CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR RETIREMENT, MOM!!! WE ARE SO HAPPY FOR YOU AND HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR RETIRMENT TO ITS FULLEST!!! WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND MALEA IS SO LUCKY TO BE ABLE TO SPEND SO MUCH TIME WITH YOU!!!

And now for the 3rd source of tears for the week. Friday morning I was in the kitchen making Joel's lunch. Malea was still back in bed sleeping, so Joel gave her his good-bye hugs and kisses for the day as he always does. After he took off for work, I heard her start to squirm. After a good night's sleep I knew she was going to be one hungry girl, so I tried to get a bottle going before she got too worked up. She started crying, so I went back and got her out of bed and she put her head on my shoulder like she always does. And then as she put her cheek against mine, I felt it... her first little tear... trickling down her cheek. My baby girl had tears. There had been a few times before that her eyes looked wet when she was crying, but this was the first time I actually witnessed a few teardrops rolling down her sweet little cheeks. Yes you guessed it, I lost it. To many it's probably a silly reason to make a mother cry, but it was just yet another reminder how quickly mine and Joel's baby girl is growing and changing. I sat there crying while I fed her the bottle and dried her tiny little tears from her cheeks. I called Joel and tried to convince him to turn around and come back home for emotional support, but he laughed it off... apparently a baby's first tears don't constitute a day's vacation for daddy:o)
Yesterday we had a Brenneman family reunion at a park. Although it was a HOT day, we still had a very good time seeing everybody, and introducing Malea to the family that we only get to see about once a year. I didn't get the camera out until we were about ready to leave, but here are a few pictures from the reunion.... the first one is our niece, Aubrey (in pink), and my cousin's daughter, Mya. They are only 2 weeks apart in age, so it was so cute watching them play together.

A quick update on our nugget... last night she "officially" slept through the night for the first time, however she has been consistently sleeping atleast 6 and a half hours at night for quite some time, and had I timed some bedtime feedings better, she probably would have slept through the night before now. Last night I fed her at 10:00, and she slept until 5:30 this morning! Way to go Malea! 7 and 1/2 hours!! She has been eating 5 ounces per feeding lately, however sometimes even after that much she is still a little hungry! Her bottles only hold about 5 ounces, so I guess I'll be making a Target run before too long for some bigger bottles!! She started GIGGLING about a week and a half ago, but unfortunately we haven't got it on video yet. Every time we start the video camera, she just stares at the red lights on the front - hah! It's the cutest little giggle I have ever heard. I can't wait to capture it on video to share with you!! Maybe I should actually video tape Joel and I trying to make her giggle... that might win an "america's funniest home video" award: )